Physics Kid

by Andrew Whipple

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Continuing the "new EP every roughly six months" cycle, but this time with something actually kinda listenable.

Beyond that, I dunno. I guess I've been listening to a lot of Teenage Fanclub/Gin Blossoms/Carly Rae Jepsen lately?


released September 29, 2015

Everything performed by Andrew Whipple, and everything not written by pop goddess Taylor Swift was written by him too (including this description, so it's weird that it's in third person.)




Andrew Whipple Chicago, Illinois

Would probably be very influenced by Superchunk and Bob Mould, if I knew where to start in their discographies.

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Track Name: Jeff Rosenstock
I don't remember if you skateboard, but it fits in with your brand
You showed me that old MySpace for your old high school band
And it was better than mine was 'cause your songs weren't as dumb
Your rule was "No songs about boys...except for maybe the one"

You started with piano; you know I used to play the drums?
But my arms are out of practice so now they just kind of suck
Maybe that could be a metaphor for something in my life
But that'd require being cleverer and thinking before I write

Don't want to be a killjoy
Don't need another decoy
But you're about ten times to cool for me
So I'm confused by all this chemistry
But then again
I was always more of a physics kid
So explain to me just what you see in me

You listen to Jeff Rosenstock; you know I know a song or two
But I'm playing like a poser, pretending I know him like you do
But even if you knew that you wouldn't give me shit
Because you're not a garbage human being, unlike the rest of the internet
Track Name: 40% Chance Of Disastrously
Her Twitter feed's as sad as the best Front Bottoms lyrics
Played over on repeat
Her depth perception's bad, she's existentially seasick
Can't stay steady on her own two feet

Home is the second best France, the third best Canada
A waterlogged past and the outstretched hand of

A girl with poor priorities, reaching for a boy with social anxiety
How's it gonna go, if you ask me
40 percent chance of disastrously

No one's better at this than she was in her day
Back when she was seventeen
"Are you alright with peaking early," what are you trying to say?
And who even let you on to this scene

A punch to the wall, bleeding knuckles
An American Girl doll slyly chuckling at
Track Name: Prince Of Toronto
He spends his normal Friday nights playing with the band
Or walking through the record store holding hands
But tonight he's skinny and tall, standing against the wall
Sipping Coke Zero waiting for his friend to call
So he can get a ride home, or at least out of here
Out of the scent of stale sweat, salt, sadness, and beer
But when he sees her there he can't help but stare
At the girl with the bright pink, sharpie-doodle hair

The fairy-tale prince of Toronto, vs. the world
Could this be the one in a million parallel universes where he might get the girl?
He'll never know until he gives it a shot, so step up, put in a quarter and give it a whirl
The fairy-tale prince of Toronto vs the world

The more he looks at her the more obvious it seems
That she could quite literally be the girl of his dreams
He's not that bad a guy, he just wants to try
To get to know her but he's painfully shy
So he walks up to her and asks her what's up
And tells some lame story about scratching P's of of Pucks
Wants to say something with style, something worthwhile
Or hell, just say something to at least make her smile

All her friends say to give it up, he could never hope to touch her level of cool
All his friends say to give it up, aren't you happy enough with the girl from school
But for now nobody else exists
He's cursing the opportunity that he missed
But if he can just get on her Amazon mailing list.... then maybe

He'll ask for the site, place an order and wait by the door and give it a whirl
The fairy-tale prince of Toronto vs. the world
Track Name: Re: Rock & Roll
She makes killer coffee but she only drinks shitty wine
She's got a boy from way back home she's called 27 times
She never thought she'd be on tv, but at least it's in her prime
She asked for his favorite station like she was asking for his sign

But in regards to rock and roll I'd really rather just run out the clock
Given time the twister tumbles towards your trailer in the park
Only cool girls kill in company, clutching candles in the dark
Saying "Privacy's the best excuse for me"

He's definitively definite and problematic type
He lost his first friend's glasses but he won his second fight
He found her Facebook profile, only took about 16 tries
Like a 33 at 45, look how the time flies
Track Name: Shake It Off (Taylor Swift cover)
Y'all know the lyrics, don't pretend.